'My daughters aren't thieves!' Dad stands up for teenage daughter's privacy, refuses to unlock her door until intrusive cousins move out

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Nov 4, 2025 12:00 PM EST

The line between "mi casa es su casa" and "please, for the love of all that is good, get out of my casa" is a lot thinner than many realize, especially when entitled relatives are your houseguests. One dad recently had an experience that truly exempliflied this notion when he opened his door to his brother-in-law after a messy divorce. It was supposed to be be a temporary arrangement until the family got back on their feet. But this act of generosity slowly devolved into a daily battle over boundaries.

Since their arrival, his twin nieces have been helping themselves to his teenage daughter Zoey's clothes, makeup, and even her school laptop. They've so far brushed it off as "borrowing," but when Zoey's $60 MAC makeup kit got destroyed, he finally snapped. He installed a lock on his daughter's door to protect her privacy. Now his wife and brother-in-law are calling him controlling and dramatic and it seems like Zooey is the only one that appreciates his tenacity. 

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    AITA for telling my wife the lock on my daughter's door does not get removed til my brother inlaw and his daughters are out of our house?

    Teenager lays on bed and uses her phone
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My brother in-law (Sammy) lost his home shortly after his divorce 10 months ago. He moved in with
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    us and brought his twin daughters (Olivia & Sloane18) with him a couple of months ago.
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    His sister (my wife) and I have one daughter (Zoey 16) and she and her cousins aren't close but get along fine.
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  • 05
    Olivia & Sloane have no respect for Zoey's privacy, none. they used to walk into her room and take everything they get their hands on. Makeup, phone
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    accessories, clothes, school laptop etc. Zoey complained a lot and I've already asked the girls to respect Zoey's privacy and stop
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    taking things. My wife and Sammy saw no issue with this. After all, they're girls and this's typical teenage girls behavior. I completely disagreed.
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    A little girl plays with makeup
    via PR Image Factory

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    Last straw was when Zoey bought a 60$ m.a.c makeup-kit that looks like a paintset that she saved up for over a month and
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    one of the girls, Sloane took it without permission and ruined it by mixing shades together while using it. Don't know much about
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    makeup but that's what Zoey said when she found the kit on her bed, and was crying. I told my wife and she said she'd ask
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    Sloane to apologize but I got Zoey a lock after I found she was moving valuable belongings out the house because of this incidence!!!
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  • 13
    A teenage girl sits on the floor in front of a couch and holds her head in her hands in a frustrated manner
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 14
    Sammy and his daughters saw the lock and weren't happy, the girls were extremely upset. Sammy asked about it and I straight up told him. He said "my
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    daughters aren't thieves!!! it's normal that girls of the same age borrow each others stuff" he said Zoey could easily get another makeup kit for 15 bucks from
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    walmart and shouldn't even be buying expensive - adult makeup in the first place and suggested my wife take care of this "defect"
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    in Zoey's personality trying to appear older than she is. He accused me of being overprotective and babying Zoey with this level of enablement.
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    A close up of keys in a lock
    via yipengge from Getty Images Signature

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    I told him this's between me and my wife but she shamed me for putting a lock on Zoey's door for her cousins to see and
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    preventing them from "spending time" with her saying I was supposed to treat them like daughters, then demanded I
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    remove it but I said this lock does not get removed til her brother and his daughters are out of our house.
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  • Not that ths behavior is okay at any age, but let it not be lost upon anyone that these girls are 18 years old! They are older than Zooey herself and are literal adults. There really is no excuse.

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    She got mad I was implying we kick them out and said her family'll hate me for this. so l reminded her that I let Sammy
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    and his family move in which's something her OWN family refused to do so she should start with shaming/blaming them for
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    not taking their own son and nieces/granddaughters in. if it wasn't for her family's
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    unwillingness to help we wouldn't be dealing with this much disturbance at home.
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    me and Everyone's been giving Zoey silent treatment and my wife is very much upset over this.
    via u/OnlyInQuebec9

Tags

relationship advice family drama entitled parents relationships parenting raising teens entitled family boundaries raising kids cousins married with children
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